(It's only February but my team is already prepping for summer hockey. And my invitation / reminder even had a Feb 14 theme. After reading this, wouldn't you want to play...?)
Yeah-yeah-yeah, I know...
It's cold outside and it's mid-February and you just realized that it's that it's February 14th on Monday and you're in a friggin' panic trying to figure out what the hell you can get your sweetie/significant other/hot co-worker/imaginary partner for Valentine's Day.
May I make this suggestion...
Give her the gift of Dragons summer hockey.
With this gift you will be able to say, "Honey, I love/adore/admire/kind of like you so much that I'm willing to give you the night off. For the entire summer. One night a week I will get out of your hair and let you have the place all to yourself. I won't bother you. I won't be underfoot. It will all be your own personal time. This is how much I love/adore/admire/kind of like you: I will even show you how to operate the remote control so you can use it all on your own to watch whatever you want on your night off. One night a week. Every Tuesday. It's my gift to you. Happy Valentine's Day. I love/adore/admire/kind of like you."
There you go. Problem solved. Happy friggin' Valentine's Day.
GENTLEMEN!!!
This summer! Tuesday night! Dragons hockey!Yes or no?
Are you willing to take to the ice when everyone else is requesting ice for their drinks? Are you willing to wear shoulder pads, knee pads and woolen socks while everyone else is skimping down to summer skimpiness? Are you friggin' man enough to say "Hell yes! I play hockey in the winter AND I play it in the summer! I play the sport I love every gawddamn season of the friggin' year. Cuz that's what being a gawddamn Canadian means! Americans can have their guns and their limp-wristed beer and their hot former governors from Alaska who scare the beejeezuz out of me and kind of turn me on at the same time. I would rather take my powerful, tasty, knock you on your knees after six of them Canadian beer, my minority federal government, my homegrown (from every country in the world) friggin' beautiful women and my year 'round, every season, hot-cold-raining-snowing gawddamn hockey any day!!"
So, yes or no?
Let me know asap. Which kind of means "now".
Much thanks. Enjoy your weekend. Be kind to people. Especially people who are bigger than you and have been drinking.
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