The sense of relief is incredible.
When it has just been a case of...
(as my wife so delicately put it)
... seemingly endless fuckery.
With no sign of quitting. No end in sight. Knowing it will go away but not knowing when it will leave.
And then it finally
Stops.
The sense of relief is almost physical in nature. It's honestly and truly like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders. As if someone says, "Here, let me take that away for you" and suddenly you can sit up straight and not feel as if something is pushing you down.
It's as if you realize, "Oh hell yeah. This is what it feels like to be normal again. To not be stressed and worried and not know when it's going to end. To not be in a state of fuckery. This is what relief feels like."
And it's not that there wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel; we knew it was going to be okay. But it was not knowing how long the journey through goddamn tunnel was going to take. That was the incredible awfulness of the situation.
But the fuckery has ended. The fuckery is gone. Fuckery no more.
Farewell fuckery, may we avoid being re-united for a long, long time.
Monday, September 13, 2010
NEWSFLASH: Headlines are Never Wrong, But They Can Mislead
The headline in the newspaper says "Slow Release Schedule Benefits Resident Evil".
And it drives me crazy when I read things like that because it's so misleading that it's darn close to being Wrong, Wrong, Wrong.
I read another one on-line that says "Resident Evil Dominates By Default". And, again, I'm dazzled by the dopiness of the statement.
"Resident Evil: Afterlife 3-D" managed to grab $27.7 million in its first weekend.
(It is the 4th film in the series, but the movies have never been numbered -- which suggests to me that the filmmakers must think the audience for these movies has some intelligence and doesn't need the hand-holding and guidance that titles such as "Rocky III", "Rambo: First Blood Part II", and "Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter" seem to imply. Or perhaps that's just me being too charitable to the "Evil" series.)
But the thing is this: the previous "Resident Evil" movie ("Extinction") opened to $23.7 million in its first weekend. So it's not like the box office for the most recent film is a surprise. As a matter of fact, given that the current entry is in 3-D and thereby gets a bump in its average ticket price, the most recent film's box office could be said to be expected.
So why have a headline that says the slow schedule *benefits* the movie? -- Well, the headline is negative and in news it's always better to be negative than blah and average. And it also conveys the fact that the industry box office wasn't, as a whole, on fire this weekend. But the box office for the latest "Resident Evil" movie is exactly what it should be.
Now, admittedly, the release date didn't *hurt* the movie. Being the only major new film in the marketplace doesn't hurt a film. That's pretty obvious.
But it's not like your average moviegoer *must* go see a movie. It's not like the cash in their pocket was suddenly going to expire or combust and they had to rush out to see a film because of it.
Or to put it another way: movies such as "Piranha 3D" and "Scott Pilgrim" only open to $10 million because people didn't think the films deserved their money. If the movies had opened on a slower weekend, they might have done moderately more business, but it's not like they would have turned into better films or created more interest solely because of the release date.
Even when a film has killer mutant fish, a movie that is a dog is going to stay a dog. And even when a film has a terrific story and is incredibly creative, some pilgrims are gonna cause a lot of trouble and simply fail to grab their intended audience.
Opening "Resident Evil" on the same weekend as the latest "Harry Potter" or "Batman" movie would hurt its business because those movies create a black hole/ vacuum / perfect storm where every moviegoer's money is going to be pulled towards the huge mega-hit. That's why nothing (and certainly not another sci-fi/fantasy movie) gets in the path of those films.
So, yes, the release date of a film can help it or it can hurt it. But a bad film isn't going to turn into a huge hit just simply because of when it hits the market.
Or, as John Hiatt says, ugly ducklings don't turn into swans and guide down the lake.
Box office flops won't sprout wings and soar simply because the release schedule is a little less crowded.
People go to see a movie because they want to see it. They can always choose *not* to see a movie.
The latest film in a series that has seen its previous two installments open in September to $20+ million is probably going to open in the same ballpark. It's likely not going to fly much higher, but it's not a shock to see it be consistent.
And it drives me crazy when I read things like that because it's so misleading that it's darn close to being Wrong, Wrong, Wrong.
I read another one on-line that says "Resident Evil Dominates By Default". And, again, I'm dazzled by the dopiness of the statement.
"Resident Evil: Afterlife 3-D" managed to grab $27.7 million in its first weekend.
(It is the 4th film in the series, but the movies have never been numbered -- which suggests to me that the filmmakers must think the audience for these movies has some intelligence and doesn't need the hand-holding and guidance that titles such as "Rocky III", "Rambo: First Blood Part II", and "Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter" seem to imply. Or perhaps that's just me being too charitable to the "Evil" series.)
But the thing is this: the previous "Resident Evil" movie ("Extinction") opened to $23.7 million in its first weekend. So it's not like the box office for the most recent film is a surprise. As a matter of fact, given that the current entry is in 3-D and thereby gets a bump in its average ticket price, the most recent film's box office could be said to be expected.
So why have a headline that says the slow schedule *benefits* the movie? -- Well, the headline is negative and in news it's always better to be negative than blah and average. And it also conveys the fact that the industry box office wasn't, as a whole, on fire this weekend. But the box office for the latest "Resident Evil" movie is exactly what it should be.
Now, admittedly, the release date didn't *hurt* the movie. Being the only major new film in the marketplace doesn't hurt a film. That's pretty obvious.
But it's not like your average moviegoer *must* go see a movie. It's not like the cash in their pocket was suddenly going to expire or combust and they had to rush out to see a film because of it.
Or to put it another way: movies such as "Piranha 3D" and "Scott Pilgrim" only open to $10 million because people didn't think the films deserved their money. If the movies had opened on a slower weekend, they might have done moderately more business, but it's not like they would have turned into better films or created more interest solely because of the release date.
Even when a film has killer mutant fish, a movie that is a dog is going to stay a dog. And even when a film has a terrific story and is incredibly creative, some pilgrims are gonna cause a lot of trouble and simply fail to grab their intended audience.
Opening "Resident Evil" on the same weekend as the latest "Harry Potter" or "Batman" movie would hurt its business because those movies create a black hole/ vacuum / perfect storm where every moviegoer's money is going to be pulled towards the huge mega-hit. That's why nothing (and certainly not another sci-fi/fantasy movie) gets in the path of those films.
So, yes, the release date of a film can help it or it can hurt it. But a bad film isn't going to turn into a huge hit just simply because of when it hits the market.
Or, as John Hiatt says, ugly ducklings don't turn into swans and guide down the lake.
Box office flops won't sprout wings and soar simply because the release schedule is a little less crowded.
People go to see a movie because they want to see it. They can always choose *not* to see a movie.
The latest film in a series that has seen its previous two installments open in September to $20+ million is probably going to open in the same ballpark. It's likely not going to fly much higher, but it's not a shock to see it be consistent.
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