(For Dan and for the guys on my team. Hockey team reminder. Cuz baby it's hot outside.)
My Fellow Dragons:
I just realized the mistake we've made.
As we take to the ice this Tuesday at 6:30, we have to turn it around, reverse our mindset, and then quickly move forward.
Our early season strategy of "Lulling the other team into a false sense of security" has gone on for approximately four games too long.
Oh don't get me wrong: It was friggin' brilliant at the time. Play with the other teams' emotions, allow them to think the season is all wrapped up, stay in a division worthy of our attention, and then lower the bombastic boom: all friggin' brilliant.
But now it's time to move forward and perhaps win a game or two.
"But Kev, won't that make the other teams think less of us? Switching our game plan mid-season; won't the other teams question our motives?"
Well, first let me say that I respect your integrity. Many people would cast aside our early season strategy the way Brad Pitt cast aside Jennifer Aniston with nary a look back as Angelina Jolie beckoned all naked and hot and naughty on the horizon.
But just as Brad Pitt is now fighting fast-moving zombies (and for gawd's sake I hope Dave isn't reading this part) we too have to put the past behind us and do battle against the evil undead known as "The Bandits".
Tuesday night. Early Tuesday night. 6:30 at the MasterCard. Please see the various suggestions at the bottom of this email in order to help you escape work early.
Gentlemen, the "lulling" strategy worked early in the season, but it's now time to turn things around.
Please let us know if you cannot make it. Unfortunately Brent is unable to join us for a couple of games, so we will have to win without him. I'm bringing Zed to the game, so we are going to have a little book-reading cheering section.
See you Tuesday night. Please look at previous emails with a six-ish start time for helpful hints to ensure you can leave early enough to make the game. And please see below for various new reasons to excuse yourself from work in order to make the game.
Yes, they call me Mr. Helpful.
Excuse 1: My dog ate my laptop and I have to take the computer to the vet and the dog to the computer store.
Excuse 2: My wife just phoned, she's dizzy and I have to take the guinea pig to the hospital.
Excuse 3: I have to escape and move west.
Excuse 4: I have a landscape class, it's the best.
Excuse 5: I need to manscape my masculine chest.
Excuse 6: My neighbour asked me to look after their dog and I forgot to leave the radio on.
Excuse 7: The seatbelt in the backseat is broken and I have to save some orphans from a fire.
Excuse 8: I promised my wife/girl friend/partner that I'd help her with her clean the house.
Excuse 9: It's cheap Tuesday and I need to buy tickets for my six year old to see "World War Z".
Excuse 10: I have to play hockey -- Dragons hockey!!
Hope to see you Tuesday night.