Jerry Meets George

Fourteen years ago, back in the winter of 1996, Tom Cruise starred and was then nominated for an Oscar in "Jerry Maguire".

That role has become a major touchstone in his career both as box office superstar and as a romantic lead. And with the guidance of writer/director Cameron Crowe, Cruise made the phrase "Show me the money" a pathetic, pleading scream of greed, accomplishment, friendship and pride.

And now, in the winter of 2010, actor Paul Rudd is starring in the movie "How Do You Know". Written and directed by James L. Brooks, the movie has Rudd playing a man named George who is tangled in a romantic love triangle with Reese Witherspoon.

Now, ignoring the fact that it is also a romantic comedy with a beautiful blonde and it is also created by an Academy Award winning screenwriter, isn't it freaky and (because both films are from Columbia Pictures) kind of interesting to note that the movie poster has an image of Rudd that is hauntingly familiar? Because you can sense from the picture of Rudd's character on the telephone that he isn't just ordering pizza; he is going through a Jerry Maguire-like hangin' by a thread, about to freak out quasi-breakdown.

Jerry Maguire tagline: "Everybody loved him. Everybody disappeared."

George's tagline: "He's In Trouble."

Although the image of Jerry Maguire screaming on the telephone wasn't used in the original poster, it is instantly recognizable from the film.

Fourteen years later, that image finally makes its way onto a one-sheet, but without Cruise's presence.

As Jerry would say, "You complete me."

Cosmo secrets

Oh those unfortunate cashiers in supermarket check-out lines. Having to deal with people like me who all of a sudden are howling with laughter for no apparent reason.

It goes like this...

I'm grabbing some groceries, minding my own business as I wait patiently for the woman in front of me to pay for her items, bag them all and somehow keep her two-year-old in the buggy entertained as she does all of this, when my eyes wander over the covers of the magazines displayed at the check-out.

And I suddenly start laughing. And I must be laughing quite loudly because the cashier looks at me with surprise. And so I tell her what has made me cackle with amusement.


The cover of the latest issue of Cosmopolitan features the article "Secrets of Male Arousal".

And I said to the cashier, "The secret of male arousal? -- If you express interest, he's aroused. If he's had a beer, he's aroused. If you smile at him or laugh at one of his jokes, he's aroused. The secret? - If he's a guy, he's gonna be aroused."

And the cashier gives me a smile, as if I've just confirmed what she has always suspected.

Men are so easy, they make a game of checkers seem like brain surgery.

Oops. Now I've revealed the secret.

I would therefore suggest completely skipping this month's issue.

That is, if it wasn't for the article "What Even Experienced Chicks Forget to Do in Bed". Cuz that looks pretty mind-blowing.

Disco Barbie

I'm late to this one, but in my defense, I don't often find myself looking at dolls in toy stores.

Nevertheless, I took my boys to Toys 'R Us and we were looking at action figures and there, across the aisle and on the end display, were Twilight Barbies -- as in Barbie dolls which are made with the licensed features of the main characters from Twilight.

Which I thought was strange, but I sorta kinda get it. Teenage girls might want to own Bella Barbie so they can have a re-enactment between her and Edward (Ken) or her and Jacob (Ken). Or maybe a fight scene between Edward (Ken) and Jacob (Ken). Or maybe a scene with all three of them. Or some sort of scene just between the two guys. Some sort of fan fiction fun.

I dunno. I guess. Whatever.



But the really strange thing was that further down the aisle they had Cyndi Lauper Barbie, Joan Jett Barbie and (my personal fave) Debbie Harry Barbie.



And I wondered that if I could go back to New York City in my time machine and visit Debbie Harry in the '70s at her peak at Studio 54 and show her what the 21st Century held for her, whether she'd be thrilled or whether she'd just throw up all over Andy Warhol and blame it all on him.

You Need to Want to Win

I stumbled across this on twitter today. It's from Mark Gatiss (he of "Sherlock" fame) and he wrote...

"Why wasn't there a massively energized, angry reaction when there was a mindless prick in the White House for eight years?"

Which I thought was brilliant.

But it's because the Democrats didn't get their message out and they act as if they should be able to work with the other side; the Republicans, on the other hand, just want to win and don't care how it gets done.

You can't negotiate with someone if all they want is to get rid of you.

"There's a frood who really knows where his towel is"

A little while ago I bought my lovely wife a towel. And, yes, it's a much more thoughtful gift than it sounds.

I ordered it from ebay in the uk and had it sent all the way over here. Because, you see, my wife is from England and I thought it would be perfect for her. It couldn't be used by myself or the boys -- we're much too Canadian and it is very much "Mummy's".

Tonight, after she went swimming, I saw it hanging downstairs to dry.

It is, if I may say, a lovely present. Very British and perfect for holidays.

But then, when I saw it, the pun struck me.


It's to be used by the beach or by the pool when you want to ensure that no one steals the perfect spot and the perfect view that you've found for yourself.

But I then twigged to the fact that it describes that calm, cool British attitude. It quietly suggests that this is the towel of not a crazy person looking for a wild time, but instead, it is the towel of someone dignified, calm and at peace with themselves.

"Reserved".

Indeed.

Countdown begins

It's November the first. The day after Hallowe'en. But according to a couple of retail home pages, it may as well be Christmas.

On the Amazon home page there are doves, Christmas bells, holly and french horns being employed to convey the festive season and all of its shopping pleasures and pressures. If I go to the American site, I can even click on the holiday toy list.

And over on ebay they're kind enough to tell me it's "54 DAYS". They don't even say it's 54 days to Christmas; just "54 DAYS" with a huge bright red ribbon beside the words.

Come to think of it, it may as well be the Christmas shopping season but neither site actually usually the word "Christmas". Amazon conveys it through images and ebay does it with a countdown, but neither uses the word itself.

So, if I understand this correctly, they'll use the holiday to hawk items and even pressure shoppers with the Dec 25 deadline, but they won't use the word in case they offend people of other faiths. It is the season that retailers love, but for these two mega-sites it's a seasonal love that dare not speak its name.

In other words: "Ho-ho-ho, Merry Shopping!"