May the Fourth Go Away

Star Wars has saddened me.

Because it was Star Wars that made me bitter and feel that things had got worse.

While I was out with friends the other night, someone at the table said, "It's not like the old days," and I replied, "It's never like the old days."

And I remember the first time I ever felt that way: Star Wars, the most recent crap-fest trilogy, made me feel that way.

Because those movies are shit and the originals are better. And only old people say stuff like "It's not as good as the original" or "It's not like the old days."

And that, my friends, is why Star Wars can bite me.

Because they made me feel old.

The Book of Love

Back when I was a teenager, a friend told me that my parents were unusual because he could see that romance existed between them.

Now, granted, this was my mother's second marriage, but he was one hundred percent correct: we were surrounded by parents who rarely displayed any affection towards their partner or even showed enthusiasm for one another. Life had taken its toll on the relationships of most parents. And perhaps that was what had happened for my mom and dad, but in their second marriages both of my parents found partners who gave them a new outlook and a new zest for life.

Yes, I know: most teenagers see their parents as dried out old husks of wasted space who don't realize that their ancient ways are going the way of the dinosaur and that there are new exciting things in the world that they can't begin to understand and why don't you just let me do what I want and why can't you just leave me alone!!!!

... Ahem.

In some ways my parents and their new parents were inspiring. It was sad that divorce had been necessary, but it was amazing to see that there could still be energy, fun and romance when you get older. Through them we could see that romance wasn't something only young people could enjoy.

And I've been fortunate that I have inspiration in other people, too.

Our friends in Montreal, A & D, are wonderful people and a terrific couple. Oh I'm sure they have challenges and most certainly have their ups and down, but they admire and respect one another. They are far from being two peas in a pod and I can't ever remember them finishing one another's sentences or thoughts.

But they like each other. They tease each other. And they laugh together.

For those reasons (and many, many others) I always enjoy spending time with them. Because seeing the best in them gives me hope that my wife and I can be the same way in years to come.

"She's So Funky Now" [sic]

I was grabbing some lunch the day before our trip to Montreal (which, of course, was the day before my wife and I were going to see Peter Gabriel in concert) when I heard "Games Without Frontiers" playing on the radio.

And when I did the math in my head I suddenly felt very, very old.

Because when I heard the song it brought back the memory of when I was young and how I thought the chorus to the song was "She's so funky now". It wasn't until I read the liner notes that I realized the chorus actually was "Jeux sans frontieres" and I was struck by the fact of how wrong I had been and how cool Peter Gabriel was: he was saying the title in French and I had misheard it in English. (Years later I learned that Peter Gabriel took the title and the chorus from a French game show. Which didn't make it any less cool. As a matter of fact, it managed to make the song and its title even more relevant once I read the premise of the television show.)

(Oh, and I still think that "She's so funky now" is a rather interesting mishear-ment of a song. Perhaps it's not as interesting as the classic and horribly incorrect "Excuse me while I kiss this guy", but it's still pretty good.

And my other great mishear-ance was from Randy Newman's "Sail Away": Rand sings "We will cross the mighty ocean into Charleston Bay". But I heard "We will cross the mighty ocean in just one day." The true lyric has historical context, but my lyric is perfectly acceptable within the cruel salesmanship of the song.)

Back to jeux sans frontieres: I remember doodling the words on a French test in high school because I thought they were cool and because I wanted to show my French teacher that I knew something besides the verb conjugation I had learned so very inadequately in his class. Because of all that I'm able to place the song at a certain time in my life.

But then, after all that flashed through my mind, I did a wee bit of quick math and I realized -- ahh crap! -- that if I scribbled the song's chorus in high school, it means that the song is now more than 30 years old! Which makes me -- well, much older than I usually think I am.

(As an aside, Wikipedia informs me that the song came out in 1980 which indeedly-deedly-doo confirms that the song is 30 years old. But it also goes to prove a point: I don't need wikipedia as long as I can rely on simple math skills and the continued kindness of women who continue to wear sandals so I can count on their beautiful painted toes when I've run out of fingers and toes of my own.)

(Oh, and did I mention that Peter Gabriel recorded an Oscar-nominated Randy Newman song for the soundtrack of "Babe, Pig in the City"? Randy Newman finally won an Academy Award a couple of years later. Peter Gabriel was nominated for a song in "Wall-E" but hasn't taken the trophy home yet.

Having said that here's a clip with Peter Gabriel singing "That'll Do" with Rand on the piano...)

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xan3b7_peter-gabriel-randy-newman-thatll-d_music


As for the concert in Montreal...

The Rhythm of the Heat

It can be a terrifying experience when you dare to see an artist who you've admired and enjoyed for many, many years.

Will they still have the magical charisma of their youth or will they merely be coasting on past accomplishments? Do they still have something to say, or are their best days behind them?

The scene in the movie 'Trainspotting' captured it perfectly when two of the characters talk about the career trajectory of Sean Connery. Their conclusion: "So we all get old and then we can't hack it anymore. Is that it?" Musical examples would be Bob Dylan, The Who and The Rolling Stones -- do they have anything new to contribute or are all artists doomed to follow the path of Sean Connery?

After seeing Peter Gabriel in concert, it is a huge relief to report that he is the exception to the Trainspotting rule.

Before writing about the concert, I have to confess that I am not a huge fan of Peter Gabriel's new album, "Scratch My Back". It has an interesting and challenging concept as he does interpretations of classic songs without the safety net of guitars or drums and instead relies on orchestral arrangement for the material. David Bowie's "Heroes", Paul Simon's "The Boy in the Bubble" and Randy Newman's "I Think It's Going to Rain" are among the songs that he re-works under his self-imposed restraints.

But as a complete work the album sounds monotone and dull because it lack any shifts in mood or passion. It can be enjoy in tiny morsels, but listening to the whole thing in one sitting is somewhat trying. And coming from an artist as energetic and thrilling as Gabriel, the album feels especially dry.

Having said that, when I heard that he was touring and making a stop in Montreal, there was no way I was going to pass on the event.

As a bit of an aside: years ago I had to learn the difference between a play and the production of a play: Shakespeare's "Hamlet" exists on the page; the production is what I might go see in Stratford. The work continues to exist on the page while the production is an interpretation of the work -- sometimes the interpretation is a success, sometimes it's a failure. Books and films can have the same relationship -- the adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Tarzan and Harry Potter continue to live on the page no matter how good or bad the screen interpretations may be.

And in the same vein, while the album doesn't work for me, the concert presentation of "Scratch My Back" was a marvel to hear. While there are still challenges with what the orchestral arrangements can and cannot do, the concert setting and atmosphere makes the music powerful and captivating in a way that the album never does.

The concert was broken into two parts: the first had Gabriel perform the new album in its entirety. He then returned after a a short break to present re-workings of some of his own songs including "Digging in the Dirt", "Mercy Street" and "San Jacinto". The tribal-like of drums were sorely missed in "The Rhythm of the Heat", but "In Your Eyes" and "Solsbury Hill" were exhilarating with the orchestra.

Peter Gabriel's voice sounded somewhat challenged at times but considering the man is now 60 years old, it's not surprising that some of the notes that he hit some 30 years ago are no longer within his range.

But what is surprising is that he continues to challenge himself. It would have been easy for him to coast and merely give the fans what they want. Instead, he continues to challenge himself and his listeners to try something completely different.

The album doesn't work for me and I still can't listen to the entire cd at one time. But I do appreciate it more after seeing the show. Peter Gabriel's latest endeavor could have easily seen him fall on his face, but instead he soared.

Back from Montreal (Part 2)

I am not a violent person.

Honest I'm not.

And while the guys on my hockey team may not immediately spring to my defense, I am not hot-headed. I know I have a bit of a temper, but I would like to think that it takes quite a bit of stupidity on some other person's behalf to get my blood boiling.

But last night during the Peter Gabriel concert I came as close as I have ever come to getting into a major beatdown of a fight.

My wife and I were out with our friends at Bell Centre. We'd had a brilliant day with our friends and my anticipation and excitement had been building as the concert got closer and closer.

The opening act did a short little two song number and then Peter Gabriel opened with "Heroes". There was a huge orchestra accompanying him and the conclusion of the first song promised a special evening.

And after the applause finished I noticed out of the corner of my eye that my wife was talking to the guy sitting beside her. And while I couldn't hear what they were saying, I could tell by her body language that something was very wrong.

They finished talking and I turned to my wife to ask what was going on. Initially she just shook her head. I again asked her what was wrong. And then she told me.

The man sitting next to her had told her to shut the fuck up. He said that she had screamed and it hurt his ear and she better shut the fuck up or there would be problems.

I didn't know what to say. I was completely taken aback. Shocked. I had heard her cheer at the end of the song, but everyone had cheered. She was no louder than anyone else around her.

What was worse was the look on her face. She was pale. With shock. With anger. And she looked very tiny, as if his words had drained her and diminished her. And I think she was hurt that her whole wonderful day and the concert itself had just been shattered by what this big, bulky Australian hat wearing man had said to her.

I asked her to switch seats with me. She refused. Said said she was fine.

We sat in silence for a minute. I then asked her again. I said, "Please, do me the courtesy of switching seats with me. I do not want you sitting next to that man." She looked fragile as she nodded her agreement. I could sense that moving seats would mean that in some tiny way that the man would have won, but it just did not make any sense for her to continue to sit next to him.

We waited until the song was finished. And then we switched seats.

My heart was been beating so hard that I thought that it was going to rip out of my chest. As I had been waiting for the song to finish I was studying where we were seating and I was trying to figure out what I would do if this guy started a fight: where I would move, how I would attempt to throw/drag/grab him, how to handle the guy in such a way to humiliate him and cause him pain without hurting anyone around us.

I then sat beside him. I leaned then over to him. And I said, "Did you actually say what my wife said you did?"

He looked at me and told me to watch the show.

So I repeated myself. A little more forcefully this time. I asked, "Did you say what my wife said you did, you Fuck? Because if you did, you owe her an apology. You Fuck."

He looked at me, asked me if I paid for the concert and then said that I should be quiet and watch the show.

Again I said, "You don't get it -- did you say that shit to my wife? You Fuck."

He tried to be cute. "Sorry, I can't hear you in this ear because of your wife's screaming."

Oh my god I was simply not in the mood for that sort of shit. But I kept my fire simmering. I did not boil over. I did not lose my cool. I did not scream at him or grab him.

"Fine," I replied. "Let me try your other ear." And I leaned across his fat, sweaty chest and said into his other ear, "Did you say what my wife said you did, you FUCK?"

He looked at me and said, "If you keep this up, you are going to end up in the police station."

At this point I looked over at the woman who was with him at the concert. Leaning across him, blocking his view of the concert, I said to her, "Is he always this rude to people? Does he always talk to women like this at concerts?"

She looked tired. Either she was used to this sort of behavior or she was shocked at what he had said and did not want to have any more problems. She asked me to please just let it go.

He looked at me and said, "You don't talk to her."

And with that, I finally had his attention.

So I said to him, "I *am* talking to her. You talked to *my* wife and now *I'm* talking to yours. And now I'm telling you what you are going to do. At the end of the concert you are going to apologize to my wife. You are going to say to her, 'I'm very sorry for being an asshole.'

"No, you know what -- you don't even have to say it like that. You can just say, 'I apologize for what I said. I was out of line. And I hope I didn't ruin the concert for you.' You are going to apologize to my wife. You FUCK. Do you hear me? Do you understand me?"

He looked at me. He must have been sizing me up. Thinking about his options.

And I did not know which way it was going to go. What he was going to do.

And finally he said, "I can do that."

"Good," I said.

And with that I sat back and watched the concert with my wife. I was tense. I was jumpy. And I still wasn't sure what he might do. But my wife then took hold of my hand and I relaxed. And then we did our best to enjoy the show.

Peter Gabriel performed the entire "Scratch My Back" album and there was an intermission as he said they'd be back in 15 minutes.

We all stood up. The guy's wife walked past us. And he was standing beside me.

He then leaned ever so carefully past me and extended his hand to my wife. And he said, "I want to give you my heartfelt apology. What I said was rude and completely uncalled for. I'm on the wrong side of three time zones, but that is no excuse for what I said. I was wrong and I completely apologize for my earlier actions. And I can only hope that it hasn't ruined the concert for you."

And my wife shook his hand and accepted his apology. It was, to be honest, the most sincere and polite apology I had ever heard. And this coming from a man who had been so very, very rude.

My wife and I then turned to our friends and she explained what had happened and why the man had apologized. The four of us then walked down the stairs to stretch our legs and get a drink.

But before we went too far I turned around and walked back to him.

I extended him my hand to him and said, "Thank you for doing that. I appreciate it."

And we shook hands and he again apologized for his actions.

And that was that. It was finished. Nothing more needed to be said.

I walked down and re-joined my wife. We went and bought a ridiculously over-priced bottle of water. She commented on his apology and asked me what I had said to him.

And I told her all of the details of the foul-mouthed in-his-face conversation. All of it. Every little bit. I was not kind to myself in its depiction.

My wife was shocked at what I had said to him. And probably more than a little surprised that the guy had apologized as earnestly as he did after the conversation/confrontation that he and I had shared.

She said that she hadn't wanted me to sit next to him because she had been worried I was going to say something to him. I told her that it didn't make any sense for her to keep sitting next to him. I said that it was the right thing for me to do when I sat next to him. And she told me that she appreciated what I had done. And that it was good of me to defend her honour.

We went back. The concert continued. It was a wonderful evening. It had had just that one little hiccup. But it worked out fine.

Because I am not a violent person. I am not hot-tempered.

But no one talks to my wife like that.

Back from Montreal (Part 1)

The used cd stores in Montreal did not disappoint.

Purchased items...

David Byrne and Fatboy Slim's "Here Lies Love"

Rickie Lee Jones "Sermon on Exposition Blvd."

Juliet Letters by Kerry-Anne Kutz (which is a huge blind buy based on my love of Elvis).

And a real surprise find was "Ovo" by Peter Gabriel. Somehow I utterly missed this release that is now 10 years old. One would think with all the knowledge of wikipedia at my fingertips that I would have known of the cd, but such are the wonders of used cd stores: discovering music that you didn't know you wanted.

And it was a terrifically timely discovery because that evening when we saw Peter Gabriel in concert the show finished with "The Nest That Sailed the Sky" -- a song that I'm unfamiliar with but now look forward to hearing.

En route to Montreal (part 4)

Without seeming too much like a hypocrite in my post below, I confess that there is great joy in having gathered 272 favorite songs and then hitting the shuffle function to see what comes forth. I get to make sure that the dj's next pick is sure to be something that I will enjoy.

This train ride has allowed me to enjoy Elvis Costello, John Hiatt, Aimee Mann, Dave Matthews, Annie Lennox, Aimee Mann singing Carly Simon, The Del Fuegos, Peter Gabriel, James Brown's "Sex Machine" followed by Lyle Lovett's "Old Friends", then a Rainy Night in Soho followed by a plead to Finish What You Started. Some Joe Jackson "Shape in a Drape", Peter Gabriel again asking to "Lay Your Hands on Me"

And now it's Warren Zevon singing "Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum, hoist the main sail, here I come. Ain't no room on board for the insincere. You're my witness, I'm your mutineer".

The ipod: it can be used for good as well as evil.