Last Dragons of 2011

The last letter of the year to my team. Christmas, New Year and good cheer all around.

My Fellow Dragons:

One of the few Christmas presents I would have liked this year is, alas, not to be.

I was hoping that the fine supervisors at the Hockey Association would look at this week's game time and realize, "Hey, that Sunday start time doesn't work for Kevin Pasquino! What the fuck were we thinking? Who the hell cocked the fucking times up? Frank!! Was it you, you ignorant twat? Change the bloody game time for the Dragons you witless, clueless, fucking moron!!"

Alas, Frank's enormous error in judgement has not been caught by his supervisor and the game time remains as personally and egocentrically awful as it was a week ago.

So rather than joining you on Sunday, I'm going to be at a family Christmas gathering.

Oh what miserable pseudo-joy.

Imagine dear old Aunt Judith, still clinging on to dear life, and still as sloppy and generous as ever with her kisses. Even my boys fear going near their great-aunt.

Imagine my slightly estranged brother, Jim, who is going to be awkwardly and uncomfortably friendly, but I know that if there is a beer (or twenty) in sight that the drinking will start, followed by the flirting with every spouse he's not *immediately* related to, followed by the inevitable fight, and then finally the drunken pathetic tears of apology and embarrassment. Hopefully the afternoon lunch-gathering will impede his drinking.

And imagine my wealthy uncle's second wife, the beautiful trophy wife, Janet, who doesn't want to be there, hates everyone in her husband's family and loves nothing more that to give Jim all the alcohol he desires and thereby insuring that he'll make a pass at her so she can steal attention from everyone and leave the party in a brilliantly staged scene of scandalous indignity.

Yes. Families get-togethers can be so much fun. Can you see why I'd rather be playing hockey? --> Fucking stupid scheduling guy Frank the idgit fucking jerk-off.

(Of course, my family is nothing like that. I don't have an Aunt Judith, brother Jim or hot replacement Aunt Janet. My family and I all manage to get along fairly well. But nevertheless it would be fun to rush from the Christmas lunch to the hockey game. But a friggin' 2:10 start? -- Alas, that's friggin' impossible.)

Gentlemen!!!!

You will be playing the final game of the year against the copy-cat named Black Dragons. They're the bottom place team, but they lost 6-3 last week just as we did, so the Magic Eight Ball of Hockey Love remains cloudy with its analysis. Nevertheless, I smell a pre-Christmas victory (I also smell turkey because my wife is hosting a staff Christmas party tonight and she's already cooking -- but victory is what I smell for the team!).

Best of luck tomorrow. I wish I could be there and it honest to hell saddens me that I won't be. I detest missing the last game of the season and the final game before the holidays. But it will be nice to see my family and (let's be honest) maybe I'll even score a nice present or two. Which would be fun because lord knows I can't score a goal on the damned ice.

Have a blast tomorrow. And I'll see you all in 2012.

Merry Christmas. Seasons Greetings. And a wonderfully, terrific and joyous New Year's for everyone!